Invitation to Charms

The Namesake was the last straw.

Since giving up my admittedly ill-conceived dream of being a cultural critic and joining respectable journalism, I have missed three — three — Kal Penn movies. I no longer had an outlet (let alone an impetus) to perform Foucauldian archaeology on the socioeconomic origins of, say, Epic Movie. For You, the Moviegoing Public™, this was no great loss, but I became increasingly nostalgic, much like an erstwhile high school star with memories of grandeur.

(Just kidding: please don't shoot me, Bassy.)

Every halfway decent blog needs a hook, and as funny as it would be to simply sprinkle my prose with semi-appropriate links to The Onion, that would also be creatively bankrupt. Thus, in keeping with my desire to catch up on Kal[1], I'm going to barrel through the many movies, games, music, and comics I've missed while trying to make that paper/because I wasn't making that paper before. Look for a retrospective on movies Disney forgot, an incontrovertible proof that Lance Bass is a better actor than Usher Raymond, and my declaration of the best "Garden of Peace" sample (hint: it's not one of these).

First up: Van Wilder 2: Rise of Taj: Colon.[2] Between miscegenation, semi-breakthrough sexualization of an Asian-American male actor[3], the sticky politics of Kal's crazy-fake Indian accent, and the carefully constructed hotness of Holly Davidson, I am convinced this movie can't be as bad as They say.

[1] Now there's a catchy name for a blog!
[2] Wait, did I just steal a joke from Aqua Teen Hunger Force?
[3] The Guru already sexualized the Asian male, although its star was Canadian and, in any case, Penn doesn't play an Asian-American in Van Wilder.